Essential swearing in French

1. Merde!(maird)

You’ll definitely hear “merde” used in France in as wide of a context as “shit” in English.

2. Putain!/Pute!(Poo-TAHN)/(poote)

Putain literally translates as “whore,” but tends to be used more like the word “fuck” in English. Not only can it be used as an emotional reaction to something, like “Fuck!” in English, you can also direct it at someone in particular, “ça pute” (that whore). People joke that the word “fuck” can be used as every part of speech in English, and in French, putain functions much the same way.

3. Chiant/ça me fait chier(CHI-ant)/(sa meh fey CHIay)

This word is most commonly used in the context of “ça me fait chier,” which translates as a more vulgar version of “that pisses me off.”

4. Salope! (sal-OPE)

You’ll most likely be directing this one at someone in particular, rather than as an angry expletive shouted in response to something. It translates as “bitch,” and is used pretty much exactly the same way the word is used in English. Also, like in English, you can incorporate this word into a a phrase like “fils de salope” (son of a bitch).

*salop (pronounced sal-OH) is the masculine version

5. Foutre/ Je m’en fou (FOO-truh)/(Juh men foo)

Again, although you may hear this dropped around a lot, use it with caution as “foutre” is the verb for “to fuck.” You’ll most often hear this in the phrase “je m’en fou,” which essentially means “I don’t give a fuck.” This also became one of my favorite phrases while I was living in Pairs and it was another one that would make my grande tante (great aunt) cringe when it slipped out at home.

6. Con/conasse/connard (cohn)/(con-ASS)/(con-ARD)

This is often used as “ass” in French, though it is also sometimes translated as a milder “idiot.” There is a famous movie in French titled “Le Dîner des Cons,” which is about a group of Parisian businessmen who each bring a “con,” or an idiot, to dinner and then the favorite “con” is chosen at the end (i.e. the guy who makes the biggest fool of himself). If this sounds familiar, it’s because it was remade in America as “Dinner for Shmucks” with Steve Carrell and Paul Rudd.

7. Nique ta mere! (neek tah mare)

Watch out for this curse, as it literally translates as “fuck your mother.” This phrase is not only extremely vulgar, but also very offensive and should be reserved for situations when only the most extreme curse is needed.

8. Ta Gueule! (ta-GOOL)

This is just about the rudest way possible of telling someone to shut up. While it does not really have an exact equivalent or translation in English, it’s kind of like saying “shut the fuck up,” or “shut your trap.” You’ll definitely hear this in banter among friends, but it can also be used in a really insulting way.

9. Casse-toi! (kass-twah)

This French curse became the center of a French controversy when President Sarkozy was caught saying this to a French citizen who had refused to shake his hand at an agricultural fair in France. This insult is kind of like a very rude way of saying “bugger off,” or maybe even “fuck off.” Combined with another expletive (like “con”), it can actually pack quite a powerful punch.

10. C’est des conneries! (Say-day-KOHN-ree)

Clearly this curse is related to #6 on this list, and can be translated best as “this is bullshit.” I particularly enjoy this phrase and find it very useful in my daily life. I also like to throw in extra words for emphasis like “C’est vraiment des conneries!” (That is REALLY bullshit).

Organising a Phone SIM with data while traveling in the USA

Great article about traveling to the US and organising a phone + data, click here to read at SMH. Below are the highlights:

If you’re making travel arrangements, the most important thing is not to leave your telco issues until the last minute. The first step is to ensure your phone, tablet or wifi hotspot is unlocked

Start thinking about this a month before the trip

AT&T changed the GoPhone plans in April and data packs aren’t available for $2 per day plans. If you’re on a $25 or $50 GoPhone pre-paid plan you can buy $5 (50MB), $15 (200MB) or $25 (1GB) data packs. The $50 plan supposedly comes with unlimited data but it can’t be used with smartphones so you still need to buy a separate data pack

Phone plans change all the time, and they are deliberately complicated to make it hard to compare plans.

For Tru SIM it’s 35 cents per MB, which works out at $70 for 200MB. The Tru SIM costs $30 and comes with $15 worth of credit. You can order a Tru SIM online but it takes three to five working days to arrive (although they will deliver to your US hotel).

Seems like Tru SIM might be the best option for data.

Alternatively TravelSIM costs $50 and comes with $5 worth of credit. Unfortunately the US data rate is a steep $1 per MB, which isn’t as attractive as the others. TravelSIM’s local PR team tells me you can select whether you are connected to the AT&T or T-Mobile network and “T-Mobile does have 3G, though it isn’t 100 per cent 3G”

10 things not to do in Paris

1. Don’t just cross the street, before looking both ways. There are lots of one-way streets all over Paris, so cars can come from any direction.

2. Don’t shout or talk to loudly.

3. Don’t try to be French. It’s okay to do things they won’t do.

4. Don’t think the Latin Quarter and Saint-Germain are where the action is. Buy the Pariscope for a cheap look at what there is to do. The Canal Saint-Martin is a good place to start.

5. Don’t wear a lot of makeup or dress up too much, it’s better to look casually chic.

6. Paris is an old people’s city. For a wild time, go to London, Amsterdam or Berlin.

7. In a nice restaurant or store, don’t decide too quickly and don’t ever be cowed by a waiter or salesperson. The more you care, the better they’ll treat you.

8. Don’t ever walk up to anyone and just start asking a question. Always say hello or something else first. Bonjour Monsieur! Bonjour Madame!  When you leave, say “Au voir,” not “Thank you.”

9. Don’t say Bon appetit.

10. Don’t assume trains and planes will run as scheduled if you are traveling during a French holiday, that’s the favorite time for strikes.